All Curses Come Full Circle
by Pensage
Summary: Solitude can make a madman of anyone, and on this lonely wanderer's deathbed, it seems that Fate's call truly cannot go unanswered. One-shot.


**This is a Doctor Who one-shot I wrote a few months ago that I recently dug up while switching to my new laptop. R&R, and I hope you like it!**

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I've been around for a long time… well, relatively. Relative to what I'm not certain, but I'm sure I've managed to last longer than a lot of things. People. Empires. Stories. Planets. Maybe there was even a universe that crumbled almost as soon as it formed, and I outlived it in the blink of an eye.

How does a universe end? Does it collapse under its own weight? Does it stretch too far, and lose the strength to hold itself together? I can't say for sure… which is rare.

My universe ended a long time ago. It collapsed under centuries of devastation and guilt, and the pieces that remain are too frayed to piece pack together.

I'm running out of time. The poison's taking its toll, and my final minutes are slipping away. Some people may call me crazy, but at this point, the pain is gone and I don't feel as afraid as I used to. I'm far too old to fear the void.

I remember when I was young… how exciting the universe seemed to be! I dreamt of touching down on every planet, shading my eyes from every sun and reaching a tentative gloved hand out into what lies beyond. I was naïve, no doubt… but my intentions were understandable, I suppose. My parents always told me tales of their adventures together, so there were imposing shoes to fill.

My parents… my family. Damn it, why did I have to think of them… I've spent too long trying to forget. Trying to let myself heal. But when I close my eyes, many of the things I see floating around me are their faces. My children, my wife, my mother, my father; I loved them dearly… but they're gone now. Forever.

Just like the rest of them.

They say that solitude makes madmen of us all. And I've been alone for a very long time.

I'm alone right now, as it so happens. It's funny, actually… I've always tried my best to stop this from happening. I always had someone by my side; I've always had someone to help me. And yet here I am, lying on the cold floor of a silly blue box that's already slipped away into the nether. The humming, the soft whirring is gone, and I can't feel her with me anymore. The last relic of my people, my society, my life, has finally given in to our constant adversity. And so I lie here in the dark and the cold, with only a sliver of light coming in through a crack in the door.

As I gaze at that bar of soft light, my jaw clenches and my blood boils. Just outside of that door was the supernova that finally, in my last hours, laid waste to my mortal enemy. The Master is gone. Finished. Dead.

But at what cost? ...

She's gone now too… Emma. My last companion, an enchanting young woman I met in Cardiff of all places. I'd say that she loved me, but I'd rather try and convince myself that it wasn't so. She was still on the ship with the Master, trapped and alone and scared. I knew the star was weakening, I knew that I couldn't save her without letting the Master escape…

So I didn't.

I've finally lost it… the last shard of my humanity. My honor, my morality; they're both shot to hell, and the pieces are scattered in the remains of a star as dead as those I've lost.

I don't cry often. I feel like I should sometimes, but half the time I feel like I just… can't. Like I've held it in for too many centuries.

Here, in my final moments of existence, I feel the bandages tear and the stitches being undone. It's over, and my last hand has already been played. And it seems that fate has called my bluff.

My mind is in turmoil, as is the norm… but it isn't full of witty anachronisms or inane puns. The jokes, the smiles and the laughter I once used to hide the pain are all gone. All I have is the silence of the Tardis and the guilt and sorrow wracking my immortal soul.

I've done so much in my many years… but it's easy to enjoy a life you don't think will end.

The gap in the door widens, exposing more and more of the infinite darkness to my flickering eyes. They twist and spin in their sockets, searching for answers; answers I know I won't find. I remember someone telling me it was charming - oh, you always seem to know what to do. You always know how to get through.

Not this time.

My eyes are slick with ascetic tears and my vision is a haze, but there in the doorway I see a number of indeterminate figures, stepping in through the starlight… I blink to clear my eyes, and then I begin to recognize them.

A stern old man with a crooked back.

An Impish wit with a stovepipe hat.

A Suave gentleman in noble garb.

A silly, twitching maniac with a long scarf.

A Boyish young fellow with his characteristic smile.

An Erroneous buffoon with a questioning cane.

A dashing young man with raven locks.

A wounded brooder with a crooked grin.

A devilish savior with two bleeding hearts.

A rapier-sharp mind with a childish innocence.

A tired face with a hawk's eyes.

Facets of myself aren't all I see reflected in the supernova's light. My companions… I see them all. They've always been with me, for all of these long years… and now they're here with me, a final salute to wounds I've desperately been trying to heal.

Susan, still watching over my crotchety First form.

Rose, enchantingly beautiful with her arm wound with my Tenth self.

Amy and Rory, true friends to the last.

River… oh, my enchanting River Song.

Clara, bashful as always and stealing glances at Eleven. But then she looks at me, and the rest follow suit. It's the reunion I've always wished for, but never dared to hope for… and now, as the tears fall from my dimming eyes, it's finally come.

River steps forward, and crouches down next to my quaking body. Her ethereal hand almost grazes my face as Rose collapses to her knees at my side, face in her hands and tears rolling down her arms. Clara's eyes lock on mine, and her perfect lips part.

_Run, you clever boy… And remember._

I break.

"_I always remembered_!" I gasp between coughs. I'm thrashing on the floor at the feet of the specters like an animal in a trap, my hands passing through them as I long for their touch. "I promised I would… _I never forgot any of you!_" My hands finally reach my face and I begin to sob, my slim chest heaving and my knees sliding up to my ribs as I roll to face Clara. "I never wanted to lose you, _any_ of you!" I'm screaming now, my lungs tearing themselves apart and yet I can't hear a word, because at long last, the Curse of the Time Lords has come full circle.

The tears are burning like a wildfire and my throat is tightening like a cruel vice, and I think that one of my hearts just stopped for the last time. But I don't bloody care, because my millennial life is at its end and my hearts have been ground down and blown away in the eternal wind of time.

Suddenly I feel a change, and I part my hands to look up at them all between the tears and the heart-shattering loss. They're… they're smiling at me, and without my initial notice, my tears seem to slow in their flowing tracks.

I go silent and still for a moment, watching their eyes soften and their lips curve up in happiness. Then I'm smiling, and then I'm laughing, and my smile's growing wider than theirs and I'm reaching out for Clara, for Rose, for Amy and for Sarah and River, and I know that they're reaching out for me too.

So here I lay, surrounded by my companions on the floor of my cold, dead Tardis, and yet somehow I know the truth, after all these years.

I don't think I can stop laughing, because as my second heart begins to slow and my eyes slip shut… I finally understand.

I'm coming home…

And I'm still running.

_Allons-y._


End file.
